Thought Catalog

An essay by The Gaggle’s Katie Gregory.

Romantic movies have ruined my life.

Like, my life is never going to resemble anything that ever happens in a “chick flick” (ugh at that name), or even a rom-com for that matter. Does anything romantic ever happen to anyone in real life? My ex of five years ago once showed me his dick on Skype and I gave it a thumbs up. Does that count as romance? If anyone actually attempted to do anything remotely “romantic” to me I would probably recoil in fear. Maybe that’s just me, though. MAYBE I AM EMOTIONALLY STUNTED.

In any case, I’ve decided to get loaded and tear apart the classic movie The Notebook. We all know it. We all love it. If you don’t love it, you’re lying, you liar. I’ve been drinking a very special “liquor” called “Kinky Liquor” and it is pink…

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